Next, research and write the beginning of the New section.
Step One of Two Steps: Write the First Sentence
We will start by Identifying the New section’s subject.
To do that, write a first sentence that introduces the New idea and tells how the narrator encountered it.
Begin with Then one dayI or some variation of it.
Add a verb: learned about, encountered, met, owned, won, became, outsmarted, etc. Be as creative as you wish.
Then name the subject of the New section.
Examples:
Then one day I (verb) a _____.
Then one day I encountered a platypus.
Then one day I imagined myself meeting a Canaan seeing-eye dog.
Then one day I magically met a didinium, which microbiologists call the one-celled lion.
4.7.1 Task – Individual or Small Group
Create an introductory sentence for a New section.
Gather Information About the New Idea
It is impossible to write without information. Therefore, do research. Wikipedia is an excellent place for information for a simple essay.
Many teachers tell students not to use Wikipedia, but professional writers use it all the time as a starting point.
Take notes as if you are making a shopping list:
Do not write sentences.
Put information in your own words.
List information as you would a shopping list.
If something is so technical that you cannot put it into your own words, then don’t use it.
4.7.2 Task – Individual or Small Group
Collect 10+ pieces of information about your New variable.
Step Two of Two Steps: Define/Describe the Subject
Defining the subject does not mean to use a dictionary definition. You would bore the reader.
Instead, pretend two people who do not know each other come to Mr. Kim’s house. He knows them both. He introduces them:
“Debi, I’d like you to meet Gloria. Gloria – Debi.” They shake hands.
Then he defines them:
“Debi is our accountant. I know Gloria from the gym.”
TROUT SHOUT!
Yell:
Introduce.
Then define or describe.
Again!
So do the same for the New section subject. For example;
Introduce: Then one day I encountered a platypus.
Define: It’s a semiaquatic, egg-laying mammal that has a bill like a duck.
Describe: Tell Why Subject is Important
Adults are busy. They want to know why they should read about your subject so they don’t waste their time. Therefore, When we define, we should describe why the subject is important. For example:
Introduce: Then one day I encountered a platypus. Define: It’s a semiaquatic, egg-laying mammal that has a bill like a duck. Describe: It’s such a strange-looking creature that scientists once thought they had been given a fake animal made up of several animal parts sewn together.
Put them together:
Then one day I encountered a platypus. It’s a semiaquatic, egg-laying mammal that has a bill like a duck. It’s such a strange-looking creature that scientists once thought they had been given a fake animal made up of several animal parts sewn together.
Other examples:
Weak: Then one day I saw an Eskimo curlew. It is one of eight species of curlews, a northern shorebird.
Good: Then one day I saw an Eskimo curlew, one of eight species of curlews, a northern shorebird. It is supposed to have been extinct since the 1960s.
Weak: Then one day I imagined myself watching Canaan seeing-eye dogs being trained. There are 2000 to 3000 Canaan dogs in the world.
Good: Then one day I imagined myself watching Canaan seeing-eye dogs being trained. They are breed that goes back to Biblical times and are Israel’s national breed.
4.7.3 Task – Class
Interview a classmate. Find out something that makes them interesting to the rest of the group. In 2-4 sentences, introduce your classmate + what is interesting.
Weak: I would like to introduce John. He likes to play basketball and baseball. Good: I would like to introduce John. He can balance a broom on his foot for several minutes.
Weak: I would like to introduce Susan. She likes to braid hair. Good; I would like to introduce Susan. She can show you cool ways to braid your hair.
Readers’ and listeners’ interests are more important than your interests in writing and speaking.
Focus the New Section: Add an Interesting Environment
When people make movies they carefully select where each scene will be set. They spend weeks or months looking for the best locations. They want to have an environment that will help the audience focus.
Do the same for your New section.
Examples:
Good: Then one day I encountered a platypus. It’s a semiaquatic, egg-laying mammal that has a bill like a duck. It’s such a strange-looking creature that scientists once thought they had been given a fake animal made up of several animal parts sewn together.
Better: Then one day I encountered a platypus. I was hiking in northwest Tasmania. Platypuses are semiaquatic, egg-laying mammals that have a bill like a duck. They are such strange-looking creatures that scientists once thought they had been given a fake animal made up of several animal parts sewn together.
Good: Then one day I imagined myself watching Canaan seeing-eye dogs being trained. They are a breed that goes back to Biblical times and are Israel’s national breed.
Excellent: Then one day I imagined myself in an Israeli kibbutz – a collective farm where everyone works together for the common good. It was in the Negev Desert. I was watching Canaan seeing-eye dogs being trained. They are a breed that goes back to Biblical times and are Israel’s national breed.
Or: Then one day I imagined myself in Masada National Park, where a small group of Jews held off the Roman army for three months. I met a Canaan seeing-eye dog. Canaan dogs are a breed that goes back to Biblical times and are Israel’s national breed.
Focus Further: Make the Environment More Precise
Look up the location you chose for the environment, and you can help the reader see the scene more precisely.
For example, you might find out that platypuses are plentiful in Tazmania’s Emu River. Then you can write something like this:
Then one day I encountered a platypus. I was hiking in the mountainous rainforest of northwestern Tasmania. The platypus was in a shallow area amid some tree trunks that had fallen into the Emu River. Platypuses are semiaquatic, egg-laying mammals that have a bill like a duck. They are such strange-looking creatures that scientists once thought they had been given a fake animal made up of several animal parts sewn together.
4.7.4 Task – Small Group
As a group, introduce and define a practice subject. Work out the parts orally.
Then focus by finding an exact, interesting location.
