Writing and Speaking

We usually are wordy when we speak. We repeat ourselves, at least a little, to make sure listeners understand us.

When we write, however, extra words get in the way of reader understanding. Remember: a reader can always reread. 

Task 4.11.1 – Small Group

Reduce the following without changing the meaning.

1. 1. Of all the things in the world that I can’t stand, the thing that I hate the most is boiled hot dogs.
   2. With a knife, cut some red tomato slices and add them to your sandwich, between the slices of bread.
   3. Valerie scrutinized her face carefully.
   4. He was a typical type of fraternity man.
   5. Richard has a consistently bad habit of not listening to what people are saying to him unless he is sure it will please him.

Task 4.11.2 – Small Group

Reduce the following without changing the meaning.  In some cases, you will not end up with a sentence.

1. 1. In this essay, I would like to tell you about my father and mother.
   2. I bought the house for the purpose of giving myself a sense of belonging.
   3. I have decided that my consideration of making an application of employment with the railroad is a good one.
   4. If you ask me, I will answer in agreement.
   5. Sometimes I often think that I have a problem with falling asleep when I go to bed.

The Writing Jar

Writing is like a jar.  You can put in facts or fat (extra words). But if you fill the jar with fat, then you cannot get in the facts. 

Task 4.11.3 – Small Group

Reduce the following without changing the meaning.

1. 1. The queen realized that her life was not a carefree and spotless one.
   2. What I am trying to say is that no child should murder his grandmother without good reason.
   3. I heard on a news report on TV that Hurricane Constance is possibly heading here.

Transitions

Most transitions can be deleted unless the next information contradicts what went before.  For example:

I ran a marathon in intense humidity, and as soon as I got home, my mother had me rearrange the furniture and mow our lawn, with is about half the size of a football field. Therefore, I was tired. 

I ran a marathon in intense humidity, and as soon as I got home, my mother had me rearrange the furniture and mow our lawn, with is about half the size of a football field. I was tired.

Task 4.11.4 – Small Group

Reduce the following without changing the meaning.

The first thing I would like to say is that learning grammar often is difficult because of mistakes that a man named Bishop Robert Lowth made in 1762.  Furthermore, since he was the bishop of London, people in power listened to him and thought his theories were correct.  Therefore, for example, the people of London came to believe that, in English, two negatives make a positive.  Moreover, they came to believe that sentences cannot be ended in a preposition.

Unnecessary Details

Beginning writers often put in unnecessary details. The result is that readers are treated as fools.

For example, let’s take the first three sentences of the paragraph below. 

It was another very routine start to a two-week vacation. I definitely had no fixed plans other than simply flying to Denver. I knew Colorado was a fantastic state, and basically that is all I thought about as I settled into my assigned seat.

The reader knows Denver is in Colorado. “Colorado was a fantastic state” does not mean anything. The last half sentence is useless: It simply repeats the first half (which, again, says nothing), and it tells us that she is about to sit down in her assigned seat.  All seats in airplanes are assigned. And that she is settling in is useless information.

Rewritten:

I was flying to Denver for a two-week vacation.

Or:

I was flying to Denver for a two-week vacation. I had no fixed plans. 

That’s it!